A World of Irony

Ironic Decency

2005-10-28T11:55:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how some people will justify their immoral choices by applying labels to themselves having to do with freedom, privacy, prejudice, or decency?

This week George Takei came out of the closet and admitted that he is gay. "The world has changed from when I was a young teen feeling ashamed for being gay," he said. Yeah... back when he actually must have had moral convictions of some kind.

Now he says that prejudice against gays is "against basic decency and what American values stand for." It's awful ironic that he uses the "decency" label when it's not even fitting. His statement says that his lifestyle and everyone's appreciation of it IS "basic decency," which is blatantly untrue.

It's a sad day when "basic decency and American values" mean encouraging homosexuality.

Ironic Dogs

2005-06-19T16:01:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that the traits people value the most in dogs reduce their lifespan?

Purebreds have requirements designated by the AKC if they are to be considered true purebreds. Certain characteristics are peculiar to their race and allow them to be called purebreds. And yet it's the mutts that live the longest. By perpetuating purebred lines, dog lovers are reducing their pets' lifespans.

Ironic English

2005-06-06T09:18:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that departments of education can correct for students not meeting standardized test requirements by simply lowering the requirements?

This is True reported that:

Britain's Qualifications and Curriculum Authority has decreed that secondary students must not be penalized for misspellings when taking an important hour-long test -- on English proficiency. The spelling standard was loosened when only 71 percent of 14-year-old students managed to "reach the level expected in English" against a target of 75 percent. (London Telegraph) ...Nt srprsng thx 2 txt msgs.

I've heard of similar things happening in the States, too, but it sure is ironic that standards aren't really standards and what we consider levels of competency are so easily altered. A Sign Of The Times.

Ironic License

2005-06-02T18:11:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that some people are pushing for using state Driver's Licenses to be used for identification in voting and forcing these licenses to become almost a national ID, while in California today their state senate approved bill SB60 to allow illegal aliens to get a driver's license?

Sure they need to be trained if they're driving on California highways, but that throws federal immigration laws out the window. Let's give illegal aliens benefits! Forget enforcing immigration laws and deporting them! Let's welcome them and give them a license? What the hell are the California state senators thinking?? If we can find them to give them a license, why can't we find them to deport them? Or at least to make them follow proper procedures for entering our country! Instead we'll reward lawbreakers! Great! That's the American Way!

Ironic Happiness

2005-05-16T17:20:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how nothing can be purely joyful? There always seems to be some sadness mixed in. You can't have something good without something bad, something happy without something sad (there's a song there, somewhere).

Just when you feel that you've conquered the school year, you realize you have to say goodbye to your friends. Just when you think "this person that I recently met is very special," you find out they've screwed up their life or have terribly annoying habits. Just when you think the summer rain is nice, lightening hits a pole near your house and you loose power. For every happy thing that happens in your life, it seems there's got to be a downside. Why can't anything just be purely happy?

Ironic Beliefs

2005-05-01T00:44:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how we treat Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and God the same way?

We don't physically see any of them, so belief in their existence is a matter of faith. Proving their existence becomes an argument that can't be ultimately proven in this life. We also have some basic expectations of them, and if they don't act, we take things into our own hands and act "on their behalf."

In some ways, how we relate to any of them (or fairies or house elves or other folkloric beings) is the same. We don't see them, but we've always been told that they exist. Their relationship to us is usually limited to one particular facet of life or one day of the year or something, and if we don't see them acting the way we would expect, we give the gifts ourselves or hope we had the blessing of God and act anyway... that kind of thing. While I do believe in God and don't mean to belittle him, it IS rather ironic how we act the same way toward him as we do toward these other entities.

Ironic Waiting

2005-04-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how we'd rather move backwards than sit and wait?

As an example, if we have to sit in our cars waiting for a long train, we often decide to turn around and try another way. No matter that the tracks cross our paths SOMEwhere or that we're going backwards and sideways and taking a long route. It probably would take us more time to get where we're going by trying to find an alternate route without a train than it would to just sit and wait for the train to pass.

I think this applies to life as well. If we feel we have to wait for something before moving forward, why do we think it would be better to take "two steps back" or look for an alternate route instead of patiently waiting for what we know we really want? It's like we'd rather spin our wheels than move slowly forward.

Ironic Rules

2005-04-22T01:10:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how what rules are what makes us civilized as humans, but we still throw them away whenever it doesn't interest us?

There are a variety of reasons why humans are higher or more advanced than other species, but one major one is that we have rules. Rules are what make us a society. Most of these rules control how we relate to each other, they're interpersonal rules. We have rules, laws, mores, that govern what is good manners and how to treat other people. Even most of our laws are based on how we are supposed to treat others. Ironically, we often set aside these rules when they go against our personal interests. If we don't think we'll get caught (or if we don't think about it), we do whatever we feel like and to hell with the rest of the world. "I'll steal if there's no cameras or people watching. I'll speed on highways and in the city, even swerve in front of other cars (that's how I think of them, not people) to try to get where I'm going just a minute sooner. I'll lie or act like someone else if it means the girl in the bar will come home with me. And when I'm in a crowd, it's all about me and where I want to get to, not about manners or being kind to the people around me."

It's ironic that we think of ourselves as civilized, but throw out the rules whenever it suits us.

Ironic School Leadership

2005-04-20T14:25:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how public school administrators are "all about the children" until something happens that might make them look bad, when they do their best to cover things up?

Last month, a 16-year-old, developmentally disabled girl at Mifflin High School right here in Columbus, OH, was sexually and physically abused. What did the administration do? Urge the father not to call 911. Stay sequestered in stupid meetings about bell schedules while the front-line people tried to do damage control. Nobody even called a nurse for the poor girl! And once her father finally did call the police, they arrived at the school to find that all of the school administrators had gone home!

And then they had the nerve to complain about being suspended because of this incident, calling their suspensions "unwarranted." At least the principal is in the process of getting canned! How much do you want to bet that this happens in other public school districts, too? These are the leaders in our public schools, caring for our children!

Ironic Doctrine

2005-04-19T23:13:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic how so many Catholics want the new pope to be more inclusive?

I know some Catholics who honestly believe there are many ways to God. Which makes me wonder why they're still part of the Catholic Church. What ever happened to Extra Ecclesia Nulla Salus? Are these people honestly expecting the staunch and conservative defender of Catholic doctrine, who just this week spoke out against relativism, to contradict it and be accepting of other religions as permissible ways to God? I expect just the opposite. Possibly even an ex cathedra proclamation this first year that reaffirms the doctrine that there is no salvation outside the Church. After all, dialogue with other religions is not the same as embracing other religions. If people don't believe this traditional and ancient doctrine, they don't belong in the Church and, dare I say, are not truly a part of it! They'd be better off becoming Buddhists.

Ironic Pain

2005-04-14T17:26:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that we do tend to hurt those we love?

Seems like we either get too familiar or just callous. After all, we've already won the girl, so now we can focus on ourselves again. Or with your immediate family, you're kind of stuck with them, and you don't have to work to keep them, so you hurt them by focusing only on what you care about. Same's true for fruits and flowers. It's not until you crush it that it really starts to smell sweet. And even that's in our own interests, not really those of the plant involved.

Maybe it's because we all tend to be insensitive when we think there's nothing to lose. We're oblivious of the pain we cause, just like Lennie in Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. He thought the mice he found in the field we soft and cuddly so he'd squeeze them and kill them. Innocent, but he caused pain because of his love. Something to think about.

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all.
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall.
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall.
So if I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all.
- Michael Buble

Ironic Church

2005-04-09T11:54:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that Cardinal Bernard Law, so recently removed from his role as archbishop of Boston for protecting priests that sexually abused children is now one of the primary cardinals in Rome and will be performing one of the nine funeral masses for Pope John Paul II?

He's not fit to lead the church in Boston, but let's move him to Rome, give him a promotion and, by inference, condone what he allowed to happen in Boston! Not only is he a cardinal for one of the four major basilicas in Rome, but he's also going to be part of the upcoming conclave, with a voice as to who becomes the next pope! It shows that what happened in the United States has hardly affected the Church of Rome. For all that they're concerned about numbers and church attendance, they sure aren't paying much attention to the people. Insead, they're playing the typical insider's game, where those with power consolidate their power. And the common people have to just deal with it.

Ironic Individualism

2005-04-08T13:04:00.000-04:00

Isn't it ironic that people try so hard to be different and want so badly to belong, all at the same time?

People generally want to be recognized as different or special and yet they want to be part of a group at the same time. Some feel lonely, unappreciated, or overlooked, and want to feel a sense of belonging. Let's all try to be "different" in the same way. Where does that get us? Where is the line between unique and part of a rising subculture? Once everyone is tattooed and pierced and "modified," then we're all the same again. It's pretty hard to be unique and assimilated at the same time. Unless you're a part of Mensa, whose only criterion for membership is that your intelligence is in the top 2% of society, in which case you do belong and stand out at the same time.

Ironic Eyes

2005-04-02T10:52:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic how so many people in the world are lonely, often violently so, and yet when you pass them on the street, they won't even look you in the eye? It is said that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. You can tell a lot about a person by looking in their eyes. Or observing how hard they avoid it.

If people are so desperate for companionship, wouldn't you think they would at least TRY to make a connection to others by LOOKING at them? It doesn't take much effort to move your eyeballs, does it? But people are so insecure that they will often go to great lengths just to be able to NOT look at you as you walk past. And I bet those people are the ones hurting the most, the loneliest.

Ironic Desires

2005-03-26T15:51:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that we always want what we don't have, and dislike whatever we do have?

When it's warm, we wish we were cold; when it's cold, we wish we were warm.
When we're single, we wish we were married; when we're married we wish we were single.
When we need a good job, we wish we had one; when we have one, we wish we had something else.
When we're broke, we wish we had money; when we get money, we wish we had more.
When we get decent car, it's not long before we wish we had a better one, and complain about what we've got. The same goes for almost anything else we get.

The old adage, "Familiarity breeds contempt," is really true after all.

Ironic School

2005-03-20T09:09:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that as college students we paid a TON of money to attend, then did everything we could to get out of going to class?

In the end, though, I think it came down to paying for the degree, which is what we were really after. Why do more work than you have to? Isn't that the American way? So since we have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for that college degree, we figure we're already putting our life-blood into it, so why do any more work than absolutely necessary? Just find ways to enjoy the time and make friends and get at least two parties in a week, and as long as you pass your classes, you win.

Ironic Movies

2005-03-13T23:09:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic how some moviemakers go to great lengths to get historical details right, but then completely overlook others?

I rented Gladiator this weekend and was intrigued by the commentary of the producer that ran during the movie. He talked about how hard they worked to get details right or, when historical details were lacking, to figure out what logically must have happened. And yet they never commented on how the thumbs-up, thumbs-down symbolism was backwards. When the emperor put his thumb down, it meant "ground your sword" or stick your sword in the ground. That meant the victim would live. When his thumb was up, it meant, "keep your sword up" or kill him. Not only did the movie get it wrong, but the commentators never even talked about it during those scenes. Here's a good article on the subject: http://www.ur.ku.edu/News/97N/SepNews/Sept29/thumbs.html

Ironic Weather

2005-03-11T15:30:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic how Spring pretends to come, even suckers the tulips and robins in, and then we get dumped on again with more snow? Just when you think things have stabilized, the weather changes again. There's just no opportunity to get used to anything.

And, you know, we go through the same thing in the Fall! It's nice and warm and still September. We try to pretend it'll never end. Then we get that first cold snap and POP! out come the sweaters and coats from our cedar chests or closets or vaccuumed-out Space Bags! We know all too well that it will be staying warm for a while, but we react and fall for it, just like the spring flowers.

Ironic Movies

2005-03-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that we watch a movie on the Big Screen, and even go back to see it a couple times, because it was "sooo good!" And then it comes out on DVD and we just HAVE to have it. Usually the first week it's out. Then maybe we'll watch it once after we bring it home, but then it just sits on the shelf, ignored. Because, after all, we've SEEN it three or four times now!

Ironic Waiting

2005-03-02T12:09:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that when we're waiting for a store clerk or phone support person, we want them to hurry up with the other people, but then when they're working with us, we want them to take their time?

I do that all the time. I'm waiting on the phone for AOL Tech Support because I'm tired of screwing around with their online "help" screens, and wish they'd just finish with those other jerks who shouldn't be licesned to use a computer anyway, and help ME! And when I'M finally on the phone with them, I want them to patient and helpful.

Same goes for garage mechanics. "Get that piece of crap out of there and start working on MY piece of crap!"

Ironic Dress

2005-02-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that guys want one thing out of a girl before they're dating, and then something totally different after they're together?

Guys get turned on by girls who wear the low-cut jeans and crop tops. The more skin we see, particular around the middle or down from the top, the more we look. We enjoy checking out girls that give us lots of hints about what they've got going on underneath, because it turns us on. [Am I right, guys, or what? You know I'm dead on, so don't give me any lip!]

But then once we've got a girl, we don't want her showing off her stuff for all the other guys to see. It's ours now, and other guys don't need to be looking. Of course, that doesn't stop us from looking, but it does make us think more about how our girl dresses. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that we don't mind them showing off their stuff even while we're dating, because it makes other guys jealous. But I think after marriage, we will view it differently, and expect our wives to stop flaunting it so much.

That's DEFINITELY ironic!

Ironic Motivation

2005-02-22T14:08:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that a conservative movement that has traditionally wanted to minimize the intrusion of government into our daily lives has taken just the opposite stance with Terry Schiavo?

The Republican Party for a long time has taken the position of minimizing government intrusion, allowing for freedom of religion and self-direction. But now they want to step in and take over a family matter. Terry Schiavo has been an adult since before she became this way, and she and her husband should be able to determine what is best for them. Now even Bush is flying back to Washington to sign a bill that the legislative branch of the government probably has no right to draft in the first place. And is the government steps in and tells this family what is best for them and forces their standards on this family, then the Republican Party has just done a 180 from almost everything they say they stand for.

Ironic Income Tax

2005-02-21T07:07:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic how the government taxes us on what we make, yet allows credit card companies to keep offering deals long after a person is in debt? I mean, we have totally created a culture of spending, not of saving. The IRS says, "You made this much, so we're taxing you this much." It doesn't matter if you were constructive with it or wasted it or spent it on only food. Granted, ther are some decent tax credits, if you're MARRIED or have CHILDREN! If you're single, you're screwed. The government's got it in for you. They tax you more than anyone else and then encourage you to spend and spend. Going bankrupt? Just get another credit card. I'm sure there's a company that will offer you one, at like 25% interest! Which is just what you need!

Ironic Clowns

2005-02-16T18:50:00.000-05:00

Clowns are ironic. You realize that?

They typically are happy-looking and "fun-loving," but they scare the shit out of most kids! (They always did me.) Maybe it's because our eyes see the painted-on smiles while our brains also see their natural mouths, which AREN'T smiling. Same goes for their eyes! It's like a dual personality syndrome, only in makeup!

Ironic Eating

2005-02-13T09:40:00.000-05:00

Isn't it ironic that as humans we like to eat, but then we don't stop? We get a good thing, and then we make it bad by abusing it. There are COUNTLESS examples of this in life: the overprotective boyfriend, sweets, driving (exhaust, fuel inefficiencies, etc.), technology, clocks, the human body, spyware, coffee, tobacco, alcohol, all the other things that we get addicted to....

As for food, why can't we just enjoy the bounties of nature and the concoctions man has created from that, without overeating? Human nature? Now THERE'S a source of ironies!